Tonight, I think the hardest part of foster parenting is the placements you can’t take.

We got called today to take a twelve year old boy. He lives hours away. We are the closest home open to boys his age. We are the only home within hours that can take him. They needed to bring him tonight.

We had to say no.

We have plans to go visit my husband’s family this weekend, including his father who is on hospice. I’m committed to providing childcare for the next two weeks for our friend who is getting 3 and 5 year old brothers tomorrow. She’s a teacher and just needs to finish the school year so she can have the summer with them. I worried about my own 12 year old having an instant twin. So many reasons why.

So many reasons why, and I still feel badly. I think of a boy in a shelter who just lost everything, and the fact that I know I can’t save them all brings little comfort.