“Mama, you prayed and prayed for me? Why?”
“Because I wanted you to be safe and I loved you very, very much.”
“You gotten me from the hospital, and my birth mom left me there?”
“Well, your birth mom was sick, and you were sick, and that is why you were in the hospital when I brought you home.”
“Why was I sick?”
“Because your birth mom took bad medicine while you were growing in her tummy, and that meant your body was sick, too. Bubby and Sister grew in my tummy, but you grew in S’s tummy. That makes S your birth mom.”
“Why did she take that bad medicine?”
“Because she was sick and had many, many problems and she couldn’t make good choices. But she still loved you very, very much. There are people whose jobs are to make sure children are safe, and they decided you should live with Mommy and Daddy forever.”
“Where is she?”
“I don’t know for sure, but when you are big enough, I will help you find her.”
“Look! A motorcycle!”
chicken2003
September 24, 2014 3:34 pmYup! We are in a similar boat with our 3 1/2 year old. He is just starting to grasp some of the adoption idea, but the conversation lasts about 10 seconds and he is onto something new and I am left reliving the conversation for days wondering if I answered his question “right”. We have open adoptions with both of our kids so they know their birthmoms. He said to me a couple of weeks ago “Mama A is my mama.” just as an observation, not anything malicious. It threw me for a complete loop. I responded “You are right, you have two Mamas.” He went off playing and two weeks later I am still wondering if I responded correctly, not so much in words, but if my being thrown for a loop was as apparent to him as it was to me. I really wish there were better manuals out there to help us as adoptive parents! It’s part of why I started to blog. Thank-you for writing as well. It helps us feel like were not so alone!
Chicken