You search forever with a sticky toddler in tow to find the perfect, perfect bedside lamps in a delicious shade of turquoise, and you get to bring them home for a great price. But, while adjusting the shade, the finial up top crumbles in your hand. This is after they fell over in  the car and bruised one lampshade. 

And you almost gut yourself trying to open a bag of chicken fries.

And you spray yourself in the eye with carpet cleaning solution.

I’m failing at adult-ing today.