I’m thinking what a difference a year makes. Last year, we had six kids under our roof. Life was chaos, and two of our foster children were spinning out due to trauma and loss of control over their little lives. Christmas last year was a blur. I don’t remember it. I don’t remember what I cooked, what the presents were- nothing. I just know that I gave the kids the best Christmas I could and I hope it’s a happy memory for them in years to come. I miss The Brothers a lot of the time. I wish that our life had been in a place where we could have made a home for them, the least of all reasons being so they didn’t have to go through another transition. They ended up with wonderful, darling people, and they have amazing lives ahead of them, so all’s well that ends well! I hope someday they know how much they are and were loved by us, and how I am grateful for my time with them, challenges and all.

This year, it’s just the six of us. Things are quieter, peaceful. Our home feels like the sanctuary I strive to make it. My children are all in good places. Sugar Biscuit is blossoming and becoming happier by the day. Stinky is a thoughful young man, albeit with some smelly armpits- I’m guessing puberty is coming. Dozer is doing well in school, and mostly keeps her teenage angst and attitude in check. The Teenager is working, contributing to the household, and we are stitching our relationship back together. Hubs and I are great, although a couples trip somewhere alone is definitely in order!

I’ve decided 2013 is the year I’m devoting to my family. I’m thinning my Facebook list to bare bones, but keeping my Tumblr. I need to work on my writing and my book, after all! We have some family plans and goals that we want to put into action. My goal is more face time, less screen time. I’m not volunteering for anything (I hope!), and I am only doing things for the people I love most and that are related to me. It’s time to enjoy the fruits of the last year and weave ourselves into the tight knit bunch I know we can be. We need to finish financially recovering from the lawyer and medical bills we’ve been slapped with this year. Hubs and I need to reconnect on a deeper level. We need a family vacation somewhere tropical and fun. I hope I’m able to keep my lofty intentions LOL!

This year has been an em-effer of a year. Fostering two traumatized little boys and getting them settled into a new home, Sugar Biscuit almost being sent to live with his aunt again, the extension in his foster care case, a monstrous legal battle, Hub’s dad’s serious health issues and concerns, my Grammy’s decline in health and subsequent death, illness and stress and heartbreak and miracles and victory. It’s now time for a rest. Time to rebuild and recover, revel in gratitude, soak in joy. I’m ready. So very, very ready. 

Here’s to 2013.