We threw Sugar Biscuit his fourth birthday party this evening. Every milestone is a little reminder of how far he’s come, of the miracle of love and the healing power of time. In four days, it marks the day he was born to another woman. Those years ago, I didn’t know he existed. It’s odd to me that such a large part of my life was tucked under the ribs of a stranger as I went about my daily life, preparing for the holidays, eating dinner with friends, folding laundry. 

Today, watching him run through the mud in his new boots, his teacher said to me, “He’s everything you never knew you wanted, isn’t he?” Truer words have never been spoken. The parts of me that were missing now ran ahead of me in the mud, wearing too-big pants and a backpack, carrying my heart in his hands.