Within days of making the major decision to begin switching agencies and from domestic to international foster care, we got an email. Our agency was enquiring on Picasso, the boy we had last weekend, asking if we would take placement of him. His current placement is disrupting due to a variety of factors- some behavioral, some situational. The behaviors are all things we feel we can stay on top of, and Picasso is a sweet boy with MANY good attributes. In many ways, he is an ideal placement, especially since we have the privilege of getting to know him a bit already.

My hesitance is that I really felt like I was being called to the international refugee program, and taking in Picasso would delay that for a while. He only needs a home for 3-6 months, maybe a bit more, before he can be “cleared” to be moved into an adoptive home. I can still continue to do respite for the international program in the meantime. Trying to tune into what is the absolute best scenario for my life and for my family, has only left me with a clear sense that this is simply a choice I can make, with no right or wrong answers. My husband and kids are all undecided, with all of them saying they don’t care or have an opinion one way or another. I joked with them about how their indifference really doesn’t help!

The agency still has some info to get to me, and some questions to answer. Our plan as of now is just to sit and wait and pray for the right answer, if there is one. I’m finding that this time around, the hardest part of fostering is balancing my intention to serve kids, follow my life’s calling, and serve the needs of my family and my own needs. It’s a tightrope, but then again, isn’t it always?