These are always so hard for me to write. What do you say to the man who signed away his parental rights so that you could be the one to raise his son? Anyway, I am sharing here because I thought it might help other adoptive parents. It’s not like there’s a primer on how to write birthparent letters!
We don’t have a lot of contact with D, he calls every few months and we mail pictures a few times a year. This is the first time I’ve written to him, because I thought he would want to know all these small details, and because I had a few things I needed to relay, mainly my gratitude. He’s a good, simple, country kid that got caught up in a bad, bad storm. He deserves at least this much, although something tells me he doesn’t want much more than this (mainly the fact that he’s never asked). And that’s okay. It’s going to be okay.
*names have been changed
We just had these pictures taken a few weeks ago, and I couldn’t wait to share them with you. I knew you wouldn’t believe how big SB is getting. He weighs 32 pounds now, and I haven’t checked his height in a bit, but he’s a very sturdy, solid toddler. He loves grilled meats, all fruits, and pizza. He will eat vegetables, even salad, but I wouldn’t say he loves them 🙂 Still, it’s no trouble to get him to eat these healthier things at mealtimes. He loves to run, ride his power wheels tractor, and talks a blue streak. In fact, he’s never, ever quiet unless he’s sleeping. He does sleep well at night, from about 9pm to 9am, and takes a 1-2 hour nap in our bed every afternoon. When he naps, he’s insistent on having his small pillow, his pacifier (which we only allow at bedtimes), and his “soft blankey”. The funny thing about the blanket is he insists on having the yellow side next to his skin, I have no idea why. They are both the same material, lol!
SB starts two day a week preschool at the church around the corner in September. He is very excited about playing with friends, and carrying his “pack-pack” with his “wunch” in it. He’s still enrolled in weekly music classes, and is now able to sing along and do the hand motions to the songs. It is darling. He really loves “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” and “Bushel and a Peck”. We may stop music lessons in the fall after he starts preschool, as his school has a 30 minute music and movement lesson each day he attends. We are just going to see how it works out, and take it from there.
He hasn’t been sick at all in over a year. Well, I think he had one 24 hour stomach bug, and every once in a blue moon he gets a runny nose for which we have to give him allergy medications, but overall, he is a very healthy little boy, for which we are so grateful. We were told that SB might have many different types of challenges and disabilities, due to the massive drug exposure he suffered while in the womb. Occasionally, we will see a slight delay in his abilities, but he always manages to catch up. Right now, we are watching his speech closely, as speech difficulties are common in drug exposed children. It seems, though, as SB is right on target, a little miracle boy who lights up every room he enters.
Speaking of lighting up rooms, SB is quite a charmer. Everywhere we go, he makes friends. He endears people to him in a way I have never witnessed. Yesterday, we were shopping at Nordstrom’s for a new suit for Hubs. SB ended up in conversation with the cute little grandmother sitting next to us, and the next thing I knew, they were playing “shoe salesman”! He is absolutely delightful and amazing, and people are drawn to him constantly. It helps that he is always smiling and sweet, and has such a large vocabulary and is so darn cute! The only time he gets grumpy is when he is very hungry, but that rarely happens.
Otherwise, everything is great. Our family is doing really well, enjoying the new homestead, and eagerly awaiting the arrival of the baby miniature donkeys that are coming in September. We have seven hens that we got at Easter, and SB can’t wait for them to start laying him some “eggies”. SB is completely potty trained, and it went very well, despite a relapse that lasted about a week, when we were busy with lots of family in town. I am very relieved to be done with diapers! Also, swimming lessons are going very well, and he’s able to swim a few feet on his own, and has no fear of the water. We have a private instructor that comes to our home, and we hope to have him swimming and safe in the water by the end of July. Cross your fingers for us!
That’s about all I have to report. I hope that you and yours are well. I do ask that you please not share these photographs or this information with Birthmom, as I am sadly still not in a place to where I feel safe about her. I do, though, hope that she is well, and pray for her often. I pray for you and your family too. I hope you are finding work you enjoy and have a home you love. There’s not a day that goes by that I am not aware of what a precious, beautiful gift I have in my youngest son. We continue to do our very best to give him the life that he deserves. He is one of this family’s brightest blessings, and we are grateful beyond words to you for entrusting him to us.