I really love yoga. At least, the handful of times I’ve been I’ve loved it. I hate exercise. I love cake, and Prosecco, and lately my love of these two things has left me feeling slovenly and slow. When I went to sit straddle legged last week, and my legs wouldn’t do it, I knew something had to change. I’m approaching 40, and don’t want to enter this part of my life having lost flexibility and strength.

A dear friend is always asking me to join her for yoga. There’s always a reason I can’t go, most of the reason being I don’t want to. Last night, I made the time.

The last yoga class I attended was almost two years ago, the night my Grammy died. I needed to get out of the house, and out of my head. It was hard, and lovely. Last night’s class was no exception, except I had the distinct impression that I was in the right place, and that I’d found a long lost, but new, thing. I’d rediscovered something just for me. Something to replace wine and cake, something restorative and lovely.

Last night was a slow burn/nidra class. The room was warm, but not hot, and I found myself feeling proud that I wasn’t in quite as horrible of a physical condition I feared. I did have an interesting revelation, as I struggled with a pose and realized by one slight shift of my weight it became immensely easier.

I think I do yoga like I do life.

I take too long to struggle into a place of balance, and am so worried about how I’m doing it that I forget to look for the simple shift or adjustment that makes everything so much more comfortable. 

I am so grateful for that class last night, for the realization that came. I will take that snapshot of myself, sweating and frustrated and trying too hard, and remember that all it took was one slight movement of my foot, almost imperceptible, to bring everything into beautiful alignment.

Nothing has to be hard. It can be allowed to flow beautifully and adjustments can be made at any time to help the process. 

I’ve printed the yoga studio’s schedule and it hangs on my wall. I am going back.

I have so much more to learn about myself.